Expedition Blog - Siobhan O'Connor, South Georgia 2023

Paradoxical Polar Plunges

by Siobhan O’Connor

As we sight South Georgia for the first time it feels like I’m meeting my maker. I watch her provocative list of questions emerge amidst icebergs and witness her wero on the unstable ground beneath. Now that I see, will I do?

I could describe our Expedition to South Georgia as one of absolute comfort, peace, and inspiration. Evidence of squeamish plunges into one-degree subantarctic waters suggest there is more to this story. For these most-desired states all require their less glamorous precursors and counterparts. In tandem, they work to shake our foundations and offer new perspectives on possibilities that have sat stagnant for too long. Embarking on this expedition I hoped to be shaken out of business as usual and plunged into deeper connection – with nature, community, and my place in this increasingly chaotic world.

We begin our journey manoeuvring through untamed ocean that refuses futile human-sliced borders. It keeps our comfort afloat while warmer, fresher water swells and seeps into corners too often hidden from our senses. I think of those already knee-deep in the climatic bog while I slip on my gumboots in the ship’s mudroom.

Our existence in this precarious place should be uncomfortable to those paying attention. And we, an impassioned cohort of Inspiring Explorers™, are here because we pay attention. The irony of flying across the world to meet South Georgia is not lost on us. With less than 20 percent of the world’s population estimated to have flown by plane, it is easy to forget our not-so-humble place in the world. With every opportunity there is a cost, and with such a unique and captivating one at our fingertips we set off to ensure it is worth the price collective humanity pays.

Plucked off the ship and into an ecosystem where life and death is so tenderly and abrasively interwoven, I lock eyes with a penguin and feel a deep disapproval – a projection from something buried deep below my outward squeals of elation. A crucial collision of realities excavates a deeper desire for environmental justice that spans further than the West Coast backyard where I first found it. With my camera in hand, I seek out moments to record, freeze and package up for those who are struggling to connect with the urgency of climate action back home. I hope they too can lean into nature’s judgemental stare and answer its calls.

Siobhan O’Connor at Fortuna Bay. © AHT/Siobhan O’Connor

Locking eyes with king penguins. © AHT/Siobhan O’Connor

Elephant seal. ©AHT/Siobhan O’Connor

Tucked away in my cosy cabin I feel the nagging of contradiction running rampant in my thoughts. While living in a world where values misalignment is so casually enforced, the balancing act is mimicked in our sea legs seeking stability as we navigate the ships corridors. We can’t stop the ocean’s surge, but steadying ourselves is a foundational requirement for the long and uncertain journey ahead. Despite being so far from home, the ebbs and flows of such emotions remain distanced from my physical experiences. This reminds me of how dissociated privileged pockets of Aotearoa are from the climate realities already existing, and how imperative it is that we step forward more daringly.

On that note, it’s time to brave the polar waters for a swim. I am quick to seek safety after leaping into a snap-freeze. I hard-wire my decision prior without allowing room for the possibility it won’t be as uncomfortable as I expect. The pleasantly surprising immersion encourages round two, this time with the intention of marrying emotional and physical discomfort for a minute-long embrace. The visceral acknowledgement of the present reminds me to face the uncertain future head-on, absent of unhelpful despair or doomist tendencies. No frost bite, just an ear-to-ear grin frozen in time.

Siobhan polar plunging. ©AHT/Siobhan O’Connor

There are moments of this expedition when parts of my identity are reborn – bursting out attached to untethered intergenerational threads. My Grandad boarded a ship in Northern Ireland when he was a similar age to me now, standing on the Magellan Explorer. He fled brutal realities of ongoing colonisation to seek a better life in Aotearoa, reversing the power dynamics of migration in favour of us, his ancestors, and at the expense of Tangata Whenua and their ancestors. Contradiction is a familiar discomfort, and one he unknowingly equipped me to embrace.

Holding many values, desires, aspirations, and beliefs simultaneously while delicately navigating rough waters is a part of life, and this expedition. It reminds me that while building something better we must propel ourselves from the uncomfortable realities in which we exist. Here, it is the melted ice so far from the Antarctic, looming avian bird flu, and remnants of dark histories of exploitation. It is also the incredible conversations, knowledge, and community that burst out of the cabins and into the dining room every morning. This expedition felt like the ultimate paradox from which we were all propelling into our next phases. Foundational relationships offer collective support and collaboration that will continue to bear fruit as we move forward to shape the world around us. This is what I am most grateful and excited for.

The journey to South Georgia helps me step into the humbling reality of my place amidst a more complex and unsheltered world. While isolated from the online world it granted space to appreciate how tethered our connections are irrespective of distance or time. I am so excited to build on this with my fellow Inspiring Explorers™ in the days, months, and years to come.

Thank you to everyone who made this incredible journey possible. It is in deep discomfort I’ve found myself the most comfortable.